BENEDICTION 

you were there 

in lululemon 

a little predictable 

but that’s alright 

the contour of your ass

that shape 

i was like om 

i was like namaste 

when i told you i was rich

you didn’t care 

but accepted my invitation

to the marina 

you didn’t mind 

the austere decor 

the Pleasers 

set by the pole 

you ran track 

in undergrad 

you said 

said

this wasn’t

like you 

honey 

none of us

are like 

ourselves

no one 

goes into this 

thinking 

ok 

i’ll milk 

it 

just because

i can 

no 

we say 

i am a child

of god 

still, it was

your sibilance

that look 

you gave 

your yoga thighs 

jesus 

i wasn’t 

even there 

it was then that i knew 

god’s plan 

all the cash burn 

the early days in the boiler room 

was all to create 

exactly this condition 

later that year 

i asked you 

to the condo 

but things had changed 

you were on a spiritual path

i had plateaued in the market 

you declined politely 

but sent me

this fucking picture

of you 

naked 

in warrior 2 

the places 

it took me 

the dream catcher 

you left behind 

from that night 

on the yacht 

i hung it on the rear view

of my Tesla 

would watch the light

pass through sometimes 

wondering 

about life 

the conquering it takes

for a vision 

soon after 

i went back

to strictly 

transactional sex 

one night on pills 

i grabbed the stupid thing 

and had the twink 

choke me with it 

my throat 

caught in the net 

visions spiraled 

through me 

i thought of you 

i felt it 

what was it 

that you called it? 

yin energy? 

inside me 

i saw all of it 

the whole intelligent design 

i had to drink a health store tonic

just to come down

months after 

you wrote me 

asking for a small private loan

to open your own studio 

said you wanted to come over

more than you needed the money

i Venmoed you 

double the premium 

and never replied 

to your message 

it doesn’t matter 

because the funds cleared 

i recouped it in less than week

trading a pink sheet 

then things 

get blurry 

before you left for LA 

i ran into you at a loft 

it was all glass 

exposed brick and tungsten lights

i begged you 

to leave the party 

instead you took me 

on the roof 

stuffed your thong 

in my mouth 

made me 

savor it 

at the point 

i had forgotten your name 

you reminded me 

but i didn’t update your contact 

it still reads 

lululemon 

i think you would have 

wanted it that way

Axel Cash was educated in the classics at Middlebury. His life is a pursuit of the poetic state of mind.